1. Ask open ended questions. Do not allow the conversant the opportunity to duck into the cave of "yeah," or "no."
Example: "Do you like being a younger brother?" "No" or "What is it like being a younger brother?" "It's hard, like when your parents make you..."2. To facilitate open ended questions, begin your question with a "What?" or a "Why?" or a "How?" Use "Who?", "Where?", and "When?" if you must.
Example: "When did you know?" "Two weeks ago." or "How did you come to know this?" "It was about two weeks ago. I was heading over to my buddies when my phone..."3. Do not color the question. Do not load it with your perceptions, either preconceived of the situation, or in an attempt to "understand." Loaded words include measures of value (good, bad) or measures of quality and quantity (very, extremely, such).
Example: "What is it like being the younger brother of such a terrible person?" or "What is it like being his brother?"4. Plan ahead. Don't walk into a conversation (interview) blind. Know where you want to go with the conversation. Don't drive it, but have a plan, a roadmap. The Spirit can take you wherever He wants, but He tends to use preparation.
Example: "So, uh, how are you?" or "What are your thoughts on Lebanon?"Why? Why are these principles so important? Well, what is the goal of a redemptive conversation? The goal is to listen, to hear the other person, to free them to speak, to coax them out of hiding. To do so we must be thoughtful, be sensitive, and be helpful. Think through the conversation. Strain your speech so that it doesn't color their response. Ask questions that force them to think and be honest. And pray.
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